Turn and toss on my bed in the middle of night around 3am. I need to sleep! The next morning, I want to wake up early at 8am for a run. Having the sleepless night, I doubt I can make it.
When the sun rise at 9am, I am still in bed. Cannot forgive myself for having such a bad attitude. I cannot afford to go for a run anymore. I need to prepare myself to meet Terence at 11am. My intuition make me feel that I will be late no matter how. In the end, I have to extend my time to meet Terence to 11.15am cause my grandma need my help to change bed sheet at a very last minute.
Leaving my house, I took a train down to Bugis. On my way down, I cannot afford to be even later than 11.15am. Hence, I took a cab down. Went to purchase Yukee Duck rice for our meet up for lunch at Jalan Psiang Road. On my way down to his office, I cannot not find it. Passing by other street name but just thought that I can see at the front of the building. In the end, I back track and look into the alley then I saw the company logo.
It was a small office but it was a big company. Terence is the Chief Executive Officer for Asia. During the first meet up, I am feeling inferior to talk to him. But he is really nice to talk to just that I feel that I am a beggar without any status talking to a king! Now, I feel more open up! He is my friend, a brother, a coach!
Anyway, what he pointed out about me is right! I feel the same way. But I do not know how to work on it. I am stuck in my life. I remember, before my Hong Kong exchange programme, Terence had asked me about what I want to do in my life. I cannot give a concrete answer to it. After the trip, I tend to smoke around showing that I am confident that I know what I am doing. But I am not. And now, the same thing. It had being a year without an answer.
What about me? I am lazy. I am not driven. I have not grown up to think mature. I am not facing the reality. I had nested myself to doing nothing it is not productive. I know all these but I just cannot stop myself from all these.
I really have to Thanks Terence for enlighten me and making me understand what my status. But I am not sure whether can I walk out of these problem. Then heading back home, back to my usual habits. I went to sleep… So, Back to square one!! AAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!
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